


Recaptured Youth

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Canon, Gap Filler
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-01-18
Updated: 2004-01-18
Packaged: 2018-12-26 18:53:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12064977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: How did Brian end up going to the Prom? And how was it that a specific song was playing for the boys to dance to? My first fic, inspired by pfyre's "Dancing".





	Recaptured Youth

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

Brian sat on his white Italian leather sofa. Mikey had just left, after interrupting his private birthday party.

_Damn good thing Mikey showed up_ , Brian thought. _I could have **really** done it this time._ He gently fingered the new white silk scarf that he purchased as a birthday present to himself. 

_Birthday present, sex toy, what’s the difference?_ Brian was nursing the bottle of water that Michael had forced in to his hand after taking care of the bottle of Beam that he had drank the most of earlier in the evening. 

_Thirty. The big three-o._ He was officially 30 - old, in his book. Brian glanced around the loft – his most prized possession. The only light was coming in from the street lamps outside, the candles having been extinguished, the romantic mood having been destroyed when Michel not so gently let Brian down from the rafters.

A wonderful scarfing experience ruined.

Brian noticed how quiet – too quiet actually – the loft was without Justin around.

_This used to be what I wanted. Peace and solitude. Now I can’t imagine how I tolerated the absolute silence around here._

Justin was staying at Deb’s tonight, somehow knowing that he should leave Brian alone on his birthday. _Tomorrow night is his prom. Jesus, and he even asked me to go with him. I already told him that I would rather die before being caught in a room full of 18 year olds._

Brian got up from the sofa, and started to aimlessly wander around the loft. Everywhere he turned he could see Justin’s influence – from the pile of art books on the coffee table to the slightly opened dresser drawer in the bedroom. Brian gently closed the drawer, and walked out of the bedroom.

A few minutes later, he went back in. _Thirty. And what do I have to show for it? This loft, my job, it’s all material things._ Laying down on the bed, he flicked on the blue lights above the bed. Normally these would calm Brian, but tonight they only fueled his thoughts. He grabbed the pillow that Justin always used and hugged it tightly. Brian buried his face in the pillow and inhaled deeply the lingering scent of his lover. _I should just face it – I do love him. I can’t get him out of my head. But the PROM? Why would he want me to go to the prom with him?_

Brian stared at the ceiling, contemplating his life. At first, Justin started out as a trick – nothing more, nothing less. But deep down he knew that there was something different about the younger man. Something that captivated him and made Brian want to keep him around.

_What is it about Justin that makes me forget my rules? I told him once that I don’t belive in love. I believe in fucking – it’s honest, it’s efficient. I live my life with no regrets, no questions the morning after._

Brian lay on the bed for several minutes, staring at the rafters above.

_If I were to die tomorrow, would I have any regrets,_ he asked himself. _Would I be able to say without a doubt that I lived my life according to my rules – no apologies, and no regrets?_ Brian inhaled deeply again, and his heart rate picked up when Justin’s scent hit his brain.

_I would have one regret,_ he thought. _That one regret would be Justin. I would regret never telling Justin that I love him._

Brian sat up and tossed the pillow aside. There was work to do. He walked over to Justin’s desk and began to rummage through the stacks of papers that he claimed were ‘organized’. 

“It’s a wonder that he can find a damn thing,” Brian muttered. _All I need is to find Daphne’s number. The little shit probably has it on his cell phone._

Brian found a small wire-bound notebook that appeared to have had better days. Justin had drawn all over the cover. It looked to be older than any of the other papers on his desk. Flipping quickly through the book, Brian found what he was looking for. He checked his watch quickly and picked up the phone. He dialed the number that was next to the younger man’s best friend’s name.

Brian was ready to hang the phone up, when the ringing stopped. “Hang on! Hang on! Don’t hang up!” the voice on the other end of the line stated quickly.

“Is Daphne home?” Brian stated, silently hoping that his voice did not betray the emotions he was feeling.

“This is Daphne, and who the heck is this?”

Brian sighed. “Daphne, this is Brian. Brian Kinney. I think we have met before?”

Daphne giggled slightly “Oh hi Brian. Justin’s not here. I think he is at Deb’s tonght.”

Brian smiled slightly. _She’s probably blushing right about now._ “Actually, I called to ask you something. You’re going to the prom with Justin, right?”

“Of course! We are best friends, you know! Who better to go with?” Daphne was beginning to wonder what this call was all about. Brian never called her, unless he could not find Justin.

“You don’t happen to know who is going to be DJ’ing this affair, do you?” Brian hoped that Daphne did not pick up on anything that may be betrayed in his voice. 

Brian heard the rustling of papers through the phone. “Hang on a second, I think it is on the ticket. Um, here it is. Memory Makers. Brian, why do you want to know?”

_Busted. Now I am in deep shit._ “Just curious. Hey, thanks for the info Daph. Have a great time tomorrow night.”

“Are you planning on doing something Brian? I know that Justin asked you to go with him, and he was a bit disappointed that you said no.” 

_Damn it to hell, she has me all figured out._ “Not sure yet Daph. Just keep a lid on this for me.” 

“Sure, no problem Brian. So, maybe I will see you tomorrow. Have a good one, Brian.”

“Good night, Daphne. Thanks again.” Brian was getting ready to hang up the phone when he heard Daphne’s voice.

“Oh, Brian?”

“Hunnnh?”

“Happy Birthday!” 

_The little shit told her it was my birthday. This shouldn’t surprise me._ “Thanks Daph. Later.” Brian hung up the phone, and walked over to his desk.

_Memory Makers, hmmm, why does that name sound familiar? Client? Did they do something for Ryder?_ Brian sat down at his own desk and booted up his computer. _I remember- the guy at the baths from a couple of months ago, he mentioned something about being a DJ on the side. What was his name?_ Brian started searching the Internet for Memory Makers’ telephone number. He picked up the phone and dialed the number. 

As it turned out, the owner of Memory Makers had been one of Brian’s conquests, but had known about the twink who stole the King of Liberty Avenue’s heart. Brian discussed his idea with the man, and made the arrangements. 

_Why am I doing this? Is it for my own masochistic pleasure? Or, god forbid, am I really growing up? I do love Justin. I love Justin more than I have ever loved any one other person in the world, with the exception of Gus. The two people I care for the most – even more than Lindz, Mikey, and Deb – came in to my life on the same night._

_I need to tell Justin. I need to tell him how I feel._

Brian logged off his computer, set the alarm, and trudged to bed. Crawling in to the bed, he grabbed his lover’s pillow and hugged it tightly to his body.

...The next day...

Justin’s cell phone was ringing. He picked up the phone and checked the caller ID. _Brian!_ His heart skipped a beat. Wonder why he is calling…

“Hey” Justin said, trying to keep the excitement out of his voice. It was rare that Brian called him on his cell.

“Excited for tonight, Sunshine?” Brian inquired dryly.

Justin sighed deeply. “Sort of. Still wish you would come with me, but I do understand. You have an image to keep up.”

Brian rolled his eyes. “You have a great time tonight ok? And, if you want, why don’t you come by the loft afterwards.” _Jesus, I hope he does not hear the emotion in there._

“Yeah, sure Bri. Hey, come over to Deb’s. I am getting ready over there, and I am sure you would enjoy seeing me all decked out.” 

Brian pondered this invitation for a minute. “I’ll bet the ‘moms’ will be there, right? Nah, I’ll skip this one Justin. Just stop by later.”

“Ok, Brian. I will do that after I drop Daphne off at her house. Hey, I better get going. The ‘moms’ will be pissed if I am not there soon. Later!”

“Later Sunshine. Have a good time.” Brian ended the call.

_Good, that’s done,_ he thought. He walked up to the bedroom and opened his closet door. _What to wear, what to wear…the eternal question._ Brian sorted through his suits, selecting a black Armani suit, black shirt, and his favorite Prada boots. _My dancing shoes, Justin would say if he were here._ A dark maroon tie completed the ensemble. Brian glanced at the clock on the nightstand. _Just enough time to shower, get ready, and chicken out. Why am I putting myself through this?_

He sat down on the platform surrounding the bed, his suit for the evening meticulously laid out on the bed. _I am doing this because I care for him. No, I love him. I want him to know, even if I can’t say the words, that I love him. I only hope that he gets the message._

Brian got up and walked to the bathroom. _I better get this going before I do chicken out._ He quickly showered, shaved, and dressed for the evening. Checking his reflection in the bathroom mirror, he untied his tie. _Christ, look at me. Breaking one of my own rules – never chase after anyone. But this isn’t just anyone – this is Justin._

Brian shut off the lights in the loft and walked towards the door. He took one last glance around the loft. _It’s now or never Kinney. Grow a pair and get on with it._

He set the alarm and walked out the door. Brian took the stairs instead of the elevator to exit the building. He walked out the front door, got in his Jeep, and headed toward the Pittsburgh Mariott.

Brian had planned the whole evening out. His personality dictated that he be in control of as much of it as possible.

..the prior evening..

“Ray, it’s Brian. Haven’t seen you around in a while.”

“Brian, the Stud of Liberty Avenue. Say, when are we going to hook up again?”

_Never would be too soon._ “I heard through reliable sources that you are providing your professional services for the St. James Academy prom tomorrow night.”

“Yeah, that’s right. Why, you need something tomorrow Brian?”

“Actually, I do. You don’t happen to have a copy of that old Drifter’s song _Save The Last Dance for Me_ do you?”

“Um, lemme check. Will only take a second. Yes, I do. You have something up your sleeve?”

“Just don’t ask me why, but I need you to do this for me. I need you to play that song for me when I tell you. You’ll know when. Just trust me on this one.”

“Ok, Brian. Still want to hook up with you again sometime. I guess that is out of the question, huh?”

_That’s an understatement, Ray._ “Something like that. Hey, thanks. I owe you one for this. Just do me a favor, keep this quiet for me. I don’t want anyone to interfere with this.”

“No problem Brian. Anything for you. See you tomorrow.”

“Thanks. Goodbye, Ray.”

_Hopefully he will get the message._


End file.
